In Russia there is this amazing breakfast cereal, podushechki (little pillows). There are probably similar things in the U.S., but I am conditioned by my stern upbringing not to purchase “sugar cereal” at home. When you’re in another country, however, you are totally allowed to eat things that are bad for you which is why I’m an expat. Anyway, podushechki are crispy little things with goo of various flavors inside, and the goo is probably laced with crack which makes it impossible not to eat the entire box in one sitting. At the little shopping center near the last place we lived in St. Petersburg, you could buy them by the kilo.

Imagine my happiness when I spotted havrekuddar, what I assumed to be the Swedish equivalent, in my local supermarket the other day. Well, let me tell you, these tasteless little shitbiscuits are probably the first cereal I’ve actually added sugar to since I was about 10 years old. They do not have any goo inside. They are blander than shredded wheat. They are not podushechki. <Insert joke about how Swedes are too serious and health-conscious here.>