Come on, guys. Theresa Heinz Kerry’s fortune may fund John Kerry’s yacht, but it doesn’t fund the campaign. As a former FEC Compliance Officer for a campaign, I can say that yes, corporations do influence the U.S. government and elections, but they are not able to fund candidates* directly.

Furthermore, if you don’t want to make the Kerrys richer, you’re going to have to give up more than ketchup. Such is the nature of the multinational conglomerate.

I’m not saying you should buy Heinz. I recommend organic, High Fructose Corn Syrup-free, third-party ketchup instead.

*See Chapter 2.6.