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Anyone who has some kind of site meter on their blog has the privilege of seeing what kinds of disturbing things people type into search engines, and worse, how some combination of words on your own blog brings these freaks to it. I’ve already mentioned what brings the most people to my blog. Jane must have a really high page rank if Googling for “naked women” brings her so much traffic – I mean, aren’t there several dozen million porn sites featuring pictures of actual naked women?

Anyway, Google referred two particularly amusing Sweden-related searches to my blog today:

1. swedish food bajs

As we learned here earlier this academic year, “bajs” is decidedly not food, even if it was at some earlier stage. Sometimes an actual piece of poo is referred to as “bajskorv”, or “poop sausage”, due to its sausage-like shape, but “korv” is the food word here, not bajs. Someone is confused.

2. swedish snot band flash kindergarten

I’m trying to imagine what the hell this person was looking for, and the only thing I can think of is The Ark, Sweden’s Eurovision entry. Anyone else have any theories?

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Oh my, I shouldn’t be wasting brain cells on this, but it is kind of a cultural/political issue. There’s all this whining in the Swedish and British media about the Eurovision result, accusing Eastern Europe of shadowy voting procedures (i.e. multiple voting by SMS) and eastern bloc pacts and stuff. Some people are even proposing a musical iron curtain with an East-Eurovision and a West-Eurovision. I have a few points to make.

1. Voting is done by country, not by total number of votes cast, so an individual voting by SMS more than once skews their country’s result, not the overall result. One could argue that since all countries get to cast the same number of votes then individual votes in countries with small populations count more (Kind of like the Electoral College in the U.S. being skewed toward the Red(neck) states). Since there are lots of little countries in Eastern Europe, perhaps the voting is slightly skewed in that direction (but then, this is the case for Scandinavia too). On the other hand, the UK, Germany, France, and Spain are automatically entered into the final no matter how bad their songs are, I assume because, as the biggest countries in Europe, they provide the bulk of the viewing audience. So, you know, who really has the advantage here?

2. The Swedish entry was mediocre and the British entry was total crap, so they have nothing to whine about. The only entries from Western Europe that I liked were France and Germany. But I never expect the masses to like what I like, so I wasn’t really surprised that they didn’t win.

3. So Eastern Europe did well this year. But hello? This is ONE YEAR. Finland won last year and Greece the year before. Western Europe can’t handle those second-class citizens in the East winning just once? Racist jerks.

4. Eastern Europe voting by bloc? Who did Sweden get almost all of its points from? Denmark, Finland, Iceland, and Norway. Everybody votes for their neighbors. It’s lame, but not surprising. So maybe they need to change the rules so that countries can’t vote for their neighbors either. And finally…

5. It’s Eurovision. It’s silly. It’s fun to get drunk and watch it and see what kind of insanity is going on in the pop music world. It doesn’t really matter who wins.

About This Blog

I'm an American who started blogging when I moved to Russia in 2004. Eventually I moved to Sweden, where life is pleasant but uneventful, and stopped blogging for lack of interesting things to say. And then I joined Facebook, which further destroyed any motivation for blogging. Maybe someday I'll start blogging again, but for now, this blog is dormant, an archive of The Russia Years: 2004-2008.

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