I arrive home. Kostia is staring at the computer.

K: There aren’t any sea manses left.

Me: Really? (Thinking Kostia is reading the BBC news and some obscure breed of starfish or walrus has gone extinct.) Umm… what’s a sea manse exactly?

K: SEA MANSE.

Me: Sea manse. Sea manse?

K: A Siemens is a mobile phone.

Me: Ohhh.

All of Kostia’s previous mobile phones have been Siemens brand. I bought him his last one for his birthday a year and a half ago. He picked it out. It was cool-looking, but it didn’t last too long. Perhaps that’s why Siemens isn’t making mobile phones anymore. So Kostia bought himself a very nice new Nokia. I have a Nokia too. It was a Christmas present from Aunt Kelly almost three years ago. It still works perfectly. Which is unfortunate because I really covet Kostia’s new phone. Kostia says I should just buy one for myself, but I can’t justify buying another phone when I have one that works. So I think he should just trade with me, because I would use all its fancy functions, like the budgeting and the sudoku, and he doesn’t use any of them. But no. He’s so selfish.