I wanted to post this right before New Year, but my scanner wasn’t cooperating, thanks to Internet Explorer 7, which managed to screw up all kinds of things on my computer. I am happy to announce that I have completely uninstalled Explorer altogether and am using Firefox. I know, I know, I should have done that a long time ago, but I am lazy and ill-informed when it comes to computers.

Anyway, before New Year I saw this in my local Pyatyorochka supermarket, the worst New Year card I’ve ever seen. Of course I had to buy it. Nothing can ever top this Men’s Day card, but still:

bad-new-year-card.jpg bad-new-year-card-2.jpg

The front reads: “Fulfillment of New Year’s wishes”, and the inside:

May your hanging out with your friends be happy,

The best surprise is waiting under the tree,

Dreams are fulfilled, life becomes cool,

Let your whole year happen with a hurrah!

All right, so this is clearly aimed at teenagers. Teenage girls, for whom New Year’s wishes include a creepy boy with the face of a twelve-year-old, the body of a lifeguard, and an oversized belt buckle. And a really large stereo speaker.

I don’t think adults should design cards for teenagers, because they are hopelessly uncool. But perhaps I don’t have a complete linguistic and cultural feel for what is cool to a Russian teenager. If you know any Russian teenagers, ask them if they think this card is cool.

Oh, and in case you don’t understand the title of the post, Monday was New Year according to the Julian calendar, which the Russian Orthodox Church uses. The holiday isn’t a big one, just another excuse to drink, as if an excuse was needed.