Well, as usual most of humanity disappoints me. I liked 7 of the 38 songs which competed in the semifinals, and only three of those made it to the final.

The ones that didn’t make it:

Belgium. Good music, made-up language.

Estonia. Weird and funny, kind of catchy.

Ireland. A singing puppet. Hilarious. “Oh I come from a nation wot knows how to write a song…”

Switzerland. Pleasant song, sung by a hottie. Actually, I’m really surprised this didn’t make it to the final, because it seems like the sort of formula that pleases the Eurovision audience. I think, sadly, that if the female backup dancers had had normal hair and short skirts it would have made it, because hot girls seem to have a much better chance of making it to the final no matter how they perform (though, thankfully, the terrible Czech song didn’t make it despite showing lots of leg).

The three likeable songs out of 20 that made it through the semifinal:

Turkey. It’s like, a real rock song, unlike the manufactured crap that dominates this contest. Sung in Turkish.

Bosnia-Herzegovina. Funny theatrics, nice song that could be from an 80’s movie (in Bosnian)

Croatia. Slavic, and they’ve got an old guy performing, which is sweet.

One song I like is among those which get to go to the final automatically:

France. Because of this Eurovision entry and the airplay it’s been getting in Sweden, I have discovered Sebastien Tellier, who is a genius.

I haven’t decided who I’ll vote for yet.

Oh, and honorable mention goes to Denmark. It’s cheesy, in English and the lyrics of the verses are cringeworthy, but the feel-good chorus is catchy (though they ought to pay some royalties to Kool & the Gang).

And one more thing. If this horrible Greek-American Britney Spears knockoff wins, I’ll… do something drastic.

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