I wasn’t really sure whether kids trick-or-treated here, and wound up not buying any candy, and when nobody came by on Friday evening, I figured we were off the hook. So when some kids knocked on our door yesterday, I was sent rushing around the house for something to give them. You know what those poor kids got? Grapefruits. We had apples, but in the moment I had to think about it, I thought of the whole razor-blades-in-the-apples urban legend and thought, well, at least you can sorta tell whether a grapefruit has been tampered with, and even if kids don’t like grapefruits, their parents can eat them. Later I went out and Kostia said we had a few more trick-or-treaters, who got the off-brand chocolate bars that I had forgotten we had in the cupboard. God, I never thought I’d be one of those disappointing households on Halloween! But at least I’m not as intentionally evil as this lady: